


The Story of Crutchie

by Bernie_faz



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: M/M, Multi, Polyamorous Character, Suicide, i don't know how to tag y'all so yike
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 10:16:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15555540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bernie_faz/pseuds/Bernie_faz
Summary: Crutchie realizes some feelings and can't deal with them.





	The Story of Crutchie

Crutchie stared at the two of them. Two of his best friends had begun dating. Everyone knew that Jack and Davey were destined to be together. They were perfect for each other. Jack always pinched Davey's cheeks and Davey always pretended to hate it, but Crutchie always saw his small smile and saw the way his cheeks got a shade darker when Jack wasn't looking. Crutchie saw all of this and felt his heart break every time.

He didn't know when it happened. Maybe it just happened all at once or maybe the feelings were always there, but one day he realized that he was in love with Davey. He realized when Davey bought him a seltzer two weeks ago. He doesn't know why that was what made him realize it, but it did. The two weeks since then had been hell. It probably would have been easier if he also wasn't in love with Jack.

Jack. Crutchie wasn't even sure when that happened. Jack was his best friend for as long as Crutchie could remember. Jack was the opposite of him. He was a leader, he was charming, he was brave. He was everything Crutchie would ever hope to be and one day he realized that he was falling for his best friend.

Two weeks. Two weeks had passed since Crutchie realized that he was not only in love with Davey, but that he was in love with Jack too. He was in love with both of his best friends and every day has been a fight since then. A fight to not let his heart fully break. A fight to not let anyone know. Just a constant fight.

It might have been easier if, when they had problems, they didn't come to him, separately, to talk to him. It might have been easier if Davey didn't come to him asking if anything was wrong with him and why Jack wasn't talking to him that day. All Crutchie could do was try not to let his heart break in two when Davey thought he wasn't enough. He had to try to not let his heart break in two when Jack confided in him saying how he really had no clue what to do and he was terrified of failing. Every little insecurity that they had broke Crutchie's heart in two because no matter how much he wanted to help them, that wasn't his place. 

It might have been easier if Jack didn't come to Crutchie asking to look over a painting because "Crutch, you got the best eyes to see flaws and beauty in things".

He wasn't supposed to help them. If Davey was upset that was Jack's job and vice versa, it wasn't Crutchie's job. However, no matter how much it hurt him, he helped. What else was he supposed to do? He loved them, he couldn't ignore them. Hell, he tried to ignore them but it didn't work, it never did.

Love, well unrequited love, but love nonetheless was a bitch. He felt so alone in the world but he knew he wasn't the only one who has experienced it. He knew well enough that Race experienced it towards Spot, but now they're dating.

Yes, Race may have experienced unrequited love and heartache for a bit but he got Spot in the end. They fit together and they're working. Crutchie would never experience that. He was stuck with the constant heartache and the thought that he didn't belong. He was the odd one out, not just with Jack and Davey but with the rest of the Newsies too.

Everyone had a role. Everyone that is, except Crutchie. 

Crutchie had no place. He was the friend that no one understood. He was the friend that told jokes that no one found funny. He slowed them all down with his limp. He was the friend that should have gotten the hint that he wasn't wanted and while he did get the hint, he didn't want to leave. He didn't want to leave because no matter how much it hurt being with them all, he couldn't see his life without them. He couldn't leave Jack and Davey. No matter how much them being together hurt him.

However, they were all slowly leaving him. Race and Spot always had dates, Buttons had to help his family, Romeo started spending a lot more time with Darcy, the rest of the newsies were off selling papers or doing whatever it is they do, and Jack and Davey were always together. 

They always had something to do and if they'd invite Crutchie somewhere, and if he decided to go, it was hell. Hell because they were always touching and saying sweet nothings into each other's ears and he was left on the outside watching it all. He tried to ignore it, but with his heart hurting it was hard. Every moment he wished he would fit with them. He ended up not talking as much with them, they didn't notice. Why would they? They had each other. He ended up slowly going into the background away from the rest of the newsies too. Albert started to notice and tried to reach out, but Crutchie brushed him off. Albert didn't need to be concerned with him. He had other, more important things to do. Albert would just be pulling himself down if he concerned himself with Crutchie. Crutchie didn't deserve anything. 

He felt himself spiraling more and more as the days went by. He felt himself getting lost and he couldn't focus on anything anymore. All he could do is focus on how much of a fuck up he was. He couldn't even walk right. How could the most perfect people in his life ever love him back? He was incredible lucky to have them in his life and he was overjoyed that they were happy, but it hurt him like hell. Crutchie only saw one way out of this and it was the extreme. 

He made the decision one night after a hard day of selling papers. Davey and Jack were shamelessly flirting, everyone was teasing them, they responded by doing it more, and Crutchie was sitting on a chair watching it all happen. He felt tears threatened to spill. He got up, made some lame excuse about his leg hurting and climbed up to "Jack's penthouse". He knew he would be alone. No one saw him leave and Jack has been staying at Davey's more and more. 

Crutchie obviously knew he wasn't needed and no one was ever going to love him and no one would ever miss him. These thoughts kept spiraling and he made up his mind. He was going to do it.

He got up and found a knife that Jack used for his paintings. He stared at it for awhile. Everything was slowing falling away. He knew he needed to do this, he needed to and he wanted to.

He needed to relieve his friends of his presence. They wouldn't care, they'd be overjoyed with the thought of him gone. He didn't have the ability to care anymore. He looked down at the knife and brought it to his wrists. He was sobbing and it hurt but it would stop soon. It would all end soon.

As his mind started to fade he heard Jack talking to Davey at the bottom of the ladder. He heard Davey ask what he was doing and heard Jack frantically climb the ladder up to him, but Crutchie was falling farther into nothingness. Before he fully faded he felt something rough on his wrists. He heard Jack sob, felt himself being picked, and heard someone yelling for help. 

He felt himself mumbling, he didn't know why but he heard himself say, "there's a breeze, Jack. There's a cool breeze even in July". There was a reply from someone, he couldn't make out who but they said that he would feel it again when they got back. Where were they going? 

More and more people came and their voices were loud. The sounds of voices, footsteps, screams. It was all so loud, but then a quiet fell and he heard Davey's voice telling him it would be ok. He heard someone crying next to him, Jack, it was Jack. With the oncoming darkness approaching, he muttered out, "Santa Fe looks real nice Jack."

**Author's Note:**

> Yo so this is my first story that I've done by myself so yeah. I hope y'all liked this, it was kind of a venting piece so yeah. Come yell at me on Tumblr if y'all want to, mine is Bernaynay.


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